Clients from Hell

Subscribe to Clients from Hell feed Clients from Hell
Horror stories from freelancers
Updated: 2 hours 40 min ago

<p>A family member wanted me to do a

22 February 2020 - 2:00pm

A family member wanted me to do a photoshoot for their fashion company.

Client: I need you to take enough photos for my website, Photoshop them, and put them on the website.

Me: Alright, what’s your budget?

Client: Fifty dollars.

Me: …

Client: I need all these photos taken tomorrow, and Photoshopped by Sunday. (It was Friday.)

Family pressure meant I couldn’t say no. I asked for $100 and said I wouldn’t be finished until Tuesday.

Everyone was furious with me.

The post appeared first on Clients From Hell.

<p>Me: Here’s the final draft of the

22 February 2020 - 1:00pm

Me: Here’s the final draft of the radio spot we agreed on with the voice-over and music.

Client: I don’t like it. I never saw it.

Me: We agreed on this last Tuesday.

Client: If I knew how this would turn out, I would’ve done it myself. This is something I could’ve written in my sleep. I hope no one thinks you’re actually good at this stuff.

Me: Fine.

An hour later:

Client: I’m thinking about writing a new radio spot. Can you help me write it?

The post appeared first on Clients From Hell.

I had a client come to me asking for a promo for their new product, an educational software package. Client sent 2 minutes of VO and 40 seconds of product shots. Me: Hey, there’s going to be a ton of B-roll in this, because your VO is way longer than...

21 February 2020 - 2:00pm

I had a client come to me asking for a promo for their new product, an educational software package. Client sent 2 minutes of Voice Over and 40 seconds of product shots.

Me: Hey, there’s going to be a ton of B-roll in this, because your VO is way longer than what you sent me, can you capture more video of the software in action? Do you want me to trim the VO?

Client: Don’t touch the VO. We have to mention every feature. Just buy some B-roll. It’ll be fine.

I cut together the promo and it’s a lot of people walking across a campus, tapping tablets in a coffee shop, and staring at the rising sun as the narrator talks about features I can’t show, and, for a few brief seconds, a cursor clicking some buttons in their software.

Client: We’re concerned about the ratio of our product to B-roll.

Me: Here’s the final draft of the radio spot we agreed on with the voice-over and music.

Client: I don’t like it. I never saw it.

Me: We agreed on this last Tuesday so I took the liberty to record.

The post I had a client come to me asking for a promo for their new product, an educational software package. Client sent 2 minutes of VO and 40 seconds of product shots. Me: Hey, there’s going to be a ton of B-roll in this, because your VO is way longer than what you sent me, can you capture more video of the software in action? Do you want me to trim the VO? Client: Don’t touch the VO. We have to mention every feature. Just buy some B-roll. It’ll be fine. I cut together the promo and it’s a lot of people walking across a campus, tapping tablets in a coffee shop, and staring at the rising sun as the narrator talks about features I can’t show, and, for a few brief seconds, a cursor clicking some buttons in their software. Client: We’re concerned about the ratio of our product to B-roll. Me: Here’s the final draft of the radio spot we agreed on with the voice-over and music. Client: I don’t like it. I never saw it. Me: We agreed on this last Tuesday so I took the liberty to record. appeared first on Clients From Hell.

<p>I run social media sites for an

21 February 2020 - 1:00pm

I run social media sites for an insurance brokerage. The owner is one of the nicest men I’ve ever met and does tons for charities, so not a CFH, but his knowledge of technology and social media is severely lacking and makes me laugh.

Me: You really should expand your LinkedIn and Facebook because that’s where you can gain future clients and start a dialogue about your business.

Client: Interesting. And what is this here?

He points at the screen.

Me: That is your News Feed.

Client: Why is Cheryl on my News Feed? She isn’t even a part of the company!

Me: Your news feed isn’t your profile. It shows what people you’re connected with are doing.

Client: Amazing! This LinkBook is really something!

Me: 

The bright side is he always thinks I’m a technology guru for the smallest things.

Client: Does anybody know how to screen shot something on an Android?

I show him.

Client: Wow. You’re worth every penny.

Glad I could help.

The post appeared first on Clients From Hell.

#1 in search

20 February 2020 - 2:00pm

Friday: Small business client site goes live.

Monday: Very irate call:

Client: Why isn’t the site #1 in Google search?

The post #1 in search appeared first on Clients From Hell.

Oh, you’re not going to use it? No worries then

20 February 2020 - 1:00pm

This was, sadly, before I started using contracts and worked on a less structured level with friends.

A friend contacted me with a request.

Client: Hey, I need a new logo, are you available?

Me: Hey, remember when I did your last logo to your specifications and you declined to pay for it because you didn’t wind up using it?

Client: What’s the problem? We didn’t use it!

Me: Look. If you want a new logo, I’ll do it, but the catch is that you pay for it.

Client: Fine.

Me: Even if you don’t use it.

Client: Yes, yes, fine!

I do the new logo, to his specifications, and he doesn’t wind up using it.

Me: All right, whatever, that’ll be $$$ please.

Client: Why should I pay for a logo I’m not going to use?

The post Oh, you’re not going to use it? No worries then appeared first on Clients From Hell.

1) Client didn’t do their part of the project. 2) Client charged back all fees paid for “product not received”. 3) I’m considering filing a felony larceny charge. 4) Yay!

19 February 2020 - 2:00pm

Client’s original request was for a brand refresh, seminar content & material design, and an eCommerce upgrade to their website.

Client: We’ve received your quote, but can’t afford it. 

Me: I’m sorry to hear that. Tell you what – if you’d like, you can hire me as a coach for a fraction of the cost and I’ll guide you through doing the work yourself. 

Simple? Yes. Easy to understand? You’d think so.

After months of stalling and admitting they didn’t want to do the work, the client left for the summer and, upon returning, surprise! They requested to pivot and change directions. At that point, I had already paused on retainer payments because we weren’t doing any meaningful work (BTW – only an idiot is nice and does this). I advised that a change in scope would end our current contract. Client obliged and I even – shockingly – suggested other vendors (again, only an idiot is this nice).

Client agreed. We parted ways. They met with suggested vendor. Happy Ending!

Nope.

Client: How much of the fees we paid you will be forwarded to the new vendor to continue the project on your behalf? 

Say what?

Fast forward months and months and emails and harassing phone calls later and my lawyers send the client a letter only to be met with a full dispute and a chargeback from Wells Fargo for “product not received”. I didn’t sweat it because I have plenty of evidence and it should have been overruled. Except it wasn’t. 

Now I have options: 

  • File a lawsuit with the client for the fees and emotional distress (because this shit is stressful AF)
  • File a lawsuit with Wells Fargo claiming lack of investigation on said chargebacks (because they didn’t even bother contacting me or investigating before doing it).
  • Oh yeah. And I can press charges against the client for “friendly fraud” in my state because by for intents and purposes they committed felony larceny for submitting a fraudulent chargeback.

Curious oh wise CFH community: what would you do?

 

The post 1) Client didn’t do their part of the project. 2) Client charged back all fees paid for “product not received”. 3) I’m considering filing a felony larceny charge. 4) Yay! appeared first on Clients From Hell.

User Submitted Post

19 February 2020 - 1:00pm

Client: I find it annoying that you keep emailing transcripts of what we discussed over the phone – I don’t need a paper trail.

The post User Submitted Post appeared first on Clients From Hell.

Overcome the starving artist within: Duane Jones of Art Pays Me

18 February 2020 - 3:30pm
Overcome the starving artist within: Duane Jones of Art Pays Me

You have to suffer for your art. If you truly care about something, you’d do it for free. Great artists aren’t recognized in their lifetimes.

We’ve all heard these ideas, and internalized them to some extent. Duane Jones fights back against them with his clothing and lifestyle brand, Art Pays Me, reminding everyone that what you do, and who you are, has value. It takes courage to turn creativity into a business, and he talks with Kyle Carpenter about why the world will be a better place if more people can get paid for their art.

It’s a great and illuminating talk about how to change your mindset towards being the kind of artist who gets paid. Tune in for the REAL difference between art and craft (and believe us – it’s the best definition you’ve ever heard). 

Today’s links: 

Want to support the show?

Order a custom infographic from Easel.ly! Use this link (https://www.easel.ly/infographicdesign/) for a great price! 

Think you’d be a great fit for the show? Let me know at twitter.com/KCarCFH

Leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or recommend us to a friend. It helps immensely.

The post Overcome the starving artist within: Duane Jones of Art Pays Me appeared first on Clients From Hell.

<p>Client: Can you make that a color

18 February 2020 - 2:00pm

Client: Can you make that a color better? Or maybe use a cooler font?

Me: That’s really not helpful feedback.

Client: Okay. Make it nicer then.

The post appeared first on Clients From Hell.

<p>I’m a web designer. This particular

18 February 2020 - 1:00pm

I’m a web designer. This particular client has a massive website, consisting of tens of thousands of pages.

Client: I want to take out this sentence.

Me: Thanks, I can do that right away. Can you send me the URL?

He sends a screenshot of the offending sentence, circled in red, no URL.

Me: This is great, thank you. Can you tell me what page this is on?

Client: It’s on the [company name] website.

The post appeared first on Clients From Hell.

<p>Client: The router you installed isn

17 February 2020 - 2:00pm

Client: The router you installed isn’t working!

Me: What exactly is the issue?

Client: The internet was down two hours ago, when we called.

Me: You also have IPTV set up, right? Was the TV working, or did it display an error?

Client: I don’t know. The power was down in the whole building.

Me: And you expected your internet connection to work… why exactly?

Client: Why wouldn’t it work if it’s wireless?

The post appeared first on Clients From Hell.

<p>Client: I saw your portfolio on

17 February 2020 - 1:15pm

Client: I saw your portfolio on Behance and really like it… can you come to our office in [nearby town] to discuss a project?

Me: That’s actually pretty far from where I live. Can you send me a brief so I can decide if I want to make the trek?  

Client: It’s a very confidential project… You come here and I’ll explain it to you.

Me: At least tell me the something: medium, budget, direction, anything. Budget, anything… It will take my whole day to come there, meet you and return and if I don’t want to take the job then that’s a big waste for me.

Client: We want a 5 minute 3D animation like Toy story from you.

Me: …But i don’t do 3D animation. I do 2d animation and illustrations.

Client: Why don’t you come here… I will explain it you.

At this point, I don’t know if it was really a job or if someone wanted to kill me.

The post appeared first on Clients From Hell.

Incredible variety in 109 fonts — 99% off!

16 February 2020 - 2:15pm
Incredible variety in 109 fonts — 99% off!

This week’s deal is on a pack of 109 fonts with all the bells and whistles, selling for only $12.

> Twelve. Dollars. That’s 99% off full retail price. 

If you read our site, chances are you appreciate a beautiful font for what it is: a piece of art in its own right, and a powerful tool for nailing a design. This bundle includes 109 fonts in 75 font families, featuring a wide array of OpenType features and language support. Use Evergreen for indie cool, or Happylife, the “very kind and romantic” font for aspirational designs. Cupcake! for designs that are cute and sweet, or Peppermint for designs that are a little more off-kilter. I don’t have to tell you how to do your jobs. You see the possibilities

The listed price for all of these fonts is $1800. That’s obviously too much, but the discounted asking price of $12 is frankly way too little, so get on it.

> Check out the deal here

The post Incredible variety in 109 fonts — 99% off! appeared first on Clients From Hell.

User Submitted Post

16 February 2020 - 1:00pm

We worked on a big website for a client who kept changing their mind, requirements and design. After confronting them with what they approved in the beginning:

Client: Yes, I approved it… But I didn’t know what I was approving.

The project is still dragging and going nowhere.

The post User Submitted Post appeared first on Clients From Hell.

User Submitted Post

15 February 2020 - 2:00pm

Client: What’s the address of your print shop?

Me: I’m on [street] at [number].

Client: Can you give me a landmark?

Me: Sure. We’re near [bank].

Later:

Client: I’m just in front of [bank] and I don’t see your store.

Me: I gave you the building number. Have you looked for that?

Client: Yes, but I don’t see it. The bank is right on the corner, there’s nothing after.

Me: Oh, I guess there are two [bank] locations on this street. We’re by the other one.

Client: Why didn’t you tell me it was near the other bank?

Me: I gave you our street address.

Client: Okay, see you soon.

Later, the client showed up, smiling like nothing had happened.

Client: I would like to print some business cards.

Me: OK, do you already have the art for it?

Client: Yes. Here.

They gave me somebody else’s business card with the name scratched out and their information scrawled in blue ink. 

Me: … 

Client: (smiling)

Do you ever feel like someone is filming a movie of your life and not telling you? Because everything this person did felt like an elaborate prank.

I told them I would have to create art assets to duplicate the card and charge them for it. They refused and said they’d go to the “other shop.”

I wonder if it was by the “other bank.”

The post User Submitted Post appeared first on Clients From Hell.

Refund

15 February 2020 - 1:00pm

I am a web designer that offers SEO services to clients once I have built their site. 

A client wanted me to build a site and then do SEO services for 3 months to get the business going. We settled on a price, I built the site and the client was happy with it. I started the SEO; the site started getting well above average traffic, even though he was catering to a very select customer base. The client was thrilled. 

Until a few months later, when he phoned me:

Client: I demand you take down my website and give me a full refund. 

Me: I am sorry but the site is getting really great traffic. Why aren’t you happy with it? 

Client: Yes it is, but i have yet to get anyone to buy anything. I can’t pay for something that doesn’t give business results.

I knew my SEO wasn’t at fault, so I looked into it. Turns out he was selling products you could get elsewhere, except at a 3000% markup. No wonder he wasn’t getting any business. 

 

 

The post Refund appeared first on Clients From Hell.

<p>Technically, this was my boss, not

14 February 2020 - 2:00pm

Technically, this was my boss, not the client. When I started working full-time, I worked for a corporate communications company running the duplication department (videos, CDs, etc). We’d gotten a large CD order that, frankly, we were completely unequipped to handle. 

Me: We can run 12 copies at a time, which it looks like will take about 8 minutes to run. So for 8,000 copies, we’re looking at about two years. We need to get a large-capacity bulk duplicator or else outsource this. 

After some back and forth, we ultimately decided to outsource the order. Since it was a purchasing issue, the boss assured me he’d take care of it.

Two weeks went by, and I didn’t hear anything.

Me: Are we still outsourcing that large order? Do I need to send the originals anywhere?

Boss: I’ll let you know. Why don’t you just give me the originals?

A month later…

Boss: Hey, the client’s asking about the CD order. Did you get it done?

Me: Uh, well… no…?

He then reamed me out for dropping the ball.

Me: … 

I quit shortly after that, and the company lasted another couple years before closing their doors. Turns out I was the first rat to notice the ship was sinking, and the others quickly followed suit.

The post appeared first on Clients From Hell.

<p>Client: You’ve got to make it look

14 February 2020 - 1:00pm

Client: You’ve got to make it look modern, classy and chic. OH! And fresh, yet classic, but not so it looks like a funeral summons. I don’t want a photo or any color and I definitely don’t want it to look like femidom packaging.

I’m a graphic designer with 6-years-experience. I was designing a CV for my mom. This was her brief. 

The post appeared first on Clients From Hell.

Font issues

13 February 2020 - 2:00pm

Client: Could you make the font more poignant? 

You keep using that word… I do not think it means, what you think it means.

The post Font issues appeared first on Clients From Hell.

Pages