Clients from Hell

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Horror stories from freelancers
Updated: 2 hours 51 min ago

<p>Client: Please italicize the title

11 November 2018 - 1:40pm

Client: Please italicize the title and not the
period.

Me: (How the hell do you italicize a period?)

The post appeared first on Clients From Hell .

Client: Please italicize the title and not the period.Me: (How the hell do you italicize a period?)

11 November 2018 - 1:40pm

Client: Please italicize the title and not the period.

Me: (How the hell do you italicize a period?)

<p>Client: I need to change my internet

10 November 2018 - 3:20pm

Client: I need to
change my internet ID.

Me: I’m sorry,
your what?

Client: Under my
name on the paperwork there is an Internet ID.

Me: Are you
talking about your e-mail address?

Client: Yes, that!

The post appeared first on Clients From Hell .

Client: I need to change my internet ID.Me: I’m sorry, your what?Client: Under my name on the...

10 November 2018 - 3:20pm

Client: I need to change my internet ID.

Me: I’m sorry, your what?

Client: Under my name on the paperwork there is an Internet ID.

Me: Are you talking about your e-mail address?

Client: Yes, that!

<p>A client I’ve worked with in the

10 November 2018 - 1:40pm

A client I’ve worked with in the past came to me with the request to add a video to the top of the homepage of their e-commerce website, along with some other tweaks. I thought it’d be a little bit tacky to have the large video bombarding new users, but I went ahead and quoted the project for $X.

Client: Hm, no, I was thinking $Y [one-third of $X], and I’ll also need these other things done as a part of this project.

Me: Alright, I can do all that, but it will be $X to take care of it.

Client: If we are agreed on $Y, send over the invoice.

Me: Sorry, no. If you’re adding other features, I’m firm on $X to take care of this project.

Client: How about $Z? [halfway between $X and $Y]

At this point, I was ready to just walk away, but I wanted to maintain the relationship as it had been good up until this point so I decided on a compromise.

Me: Sure. I can do it for $Z. It’s going to be completed on a slightly longer timeline, though. I have some other projects in my queue at the moment, and I will get to yours when I am able. Send me over the video, and I’ll get the project in my queue.

Then, the kicker.

Client: Here’s the video. Yes, it’s very long and not flashy, but that’s the point of this bad boy. We are going to make it autoplay with no controls available to the user. Make them sit through a 27-minute video. We’ll see how that does for a few weeks.

The post appeared first on Clients From Hell .

A client I’ve worked with in the past came to me with the request to add a video to the top of the...

10 November 2018 - 1:40pm

A client I’ve worked with in the past came to me with the request to add a video to the top of the homepage of their e-commerce website, along with some other tweaks. I thought it’d be a little bit tacky to have the large video bombarding new users, but I went ahead and quoted the project for $X.

Client: Hm, no, I was thinking $Y [one-third of $X], and I’ll also need these other things done as a part of this project.

Me: Alright, I can do all that, but it will be $X to take care of it.

Client: If we are agreed on $Y, send over the invoice.

Me: Sorry, no. If you’re adding other features, I’m firm on $X to take care of this project.

Client: How about $Z? [halfway between $X and $Y]

At this point, I was ready to just walk away, but I wanted to maintain the relationship as it had been good up until this point so I decided on a compromise.

Me: Sure. I can do it for $Z. It’s going to be completed on a slightly longer timeline, though. I have some other projects in my queue at the moment, and I will get to yours when I am able. Send me over the video, and I’ll get the project in my queue.

Then, the kicker.

Client: Here’s the video. Yes, it’s very long and not flashy, but that’s the point of this bad boy. We are going to make it autoplay with no controls available to the user. Make them sit through a 27-minute video. We’ll see how that does for a few weeks.

<p>Client: I need you to design my

9 November 2018 - 3:20pm

Client: I need you to design my business card,
but I don’t have much money because I’m a starting out as an accountant. I can
only pay $10.

Me: There isn’t much I can do for the sum. Nothing, actually.

Client:
 Ok, just write my name and number on a business card size.

Days later:

Me: Here you go.

Client: (shouting) What’s this? It’s too bland and
not designed at all!

Me: It’s what you asked for.

Client: I know. But I was expecting something
great – like, say, the corporate identity of the Bank of America, for example!

Me: Bank of America hires the services of a top
ad agency, and they pay top dollar.

Client: I know, but I want a top branding
identity and pay only $10!

The post appeared first on Clients From Hell .

Client: I need you to design my business card, but I don’t have much money because I’m a starting...

9 November 2018 - 3:20pm

Client: I need you to design my business card, but I don’t have much money because I’m a starting out as an accountant. I can only pay $10.

Me: There isn’t much I can do for the sum. Nothing, actually.

Client:
 Ok, just write my name and number on a business card size.

Days later:

Me: Here you go.

Client: (shouting) What’s this? It’s too bland and not designed at all!

Me: It’s what you asked for.

Client: I know. But I was expecting something great – like, say, the corporate identity of the Bank of America, for example!

Me: Bank of America hires the services of a top ad agency, and they pay top dollar.

Client: I know, but I want a top branding identity and pay only $10!

Client: I want you to give me printouts of the fonts that you have so I can pick and choose the ones...

9 November 2018 - 1:40pm

Client: I want you to give me printouts of the fonts that you have so I can pick and choose the ones I like.

Me: I have about 1000 fonts.

Client: Yes, perfect. Print ‘em all.

Me: No.

I give my client my availability for August. Client: So Aug. 24 and 25 are out? We had really been...

8 November 2018 - 3:20pm

I give my client my availability for August.

Client: So Aug. 24 and 25 are out? We had really been hoping for those dates… those are the dates we had discussed on the call. Are you sure you can’t fit us in?

Me: Oh, did we! I’m sorry the misunderstanding. If you want those dates than I can reschedule some things.

Client: No problem. Let’s go with Monday, August 28!

The client asked me to write a white paper with the title “Introduction to Network Slicing.”They...

8 November 2018 - 1:40pm

The client asked me to write a white paper with the title “Introduction to Network Slicing.”

They wanted it to be based on a previous effort that was too technical for the layman, also called “Introduction to Network Slicing.”

Client: Re-write the original, but make it less technical and express the concepts of network slicing in layman’s terms.

Me: Okay. Any other guidance?

Client: No, just that.

I produced a first draft… which made the client suddenly realize everything they ACTUALLY wanted me to telepathically know already. Typical. Except their top criticism of this white paper introducing people to the concept of network slicing?

Client: I don’t want you to mention network slicing.

A potential client contacted my web design company, needing a custom site for his product catalogue....

7 November 2018 - 3:20pm

A potential client contacted my web design company, needing a custom site for his product catalogue. He didn’t have many products, only about twenty, but he needed to be able to update the descriptions and photos himself as the products had extensive data and would change over time. We spent some time in talks with the client, showing, how our products catalogue would work, and how easy it would be for him to use it. Then we provided an estimate, which was relatively small compared to market price for a completely custom-made website.

Client: Thanks, but I’ve actually been in touch with another designer who underbid you so I’ll be going with them.

This other company hadn’t done any of the work to educate the client about the website they would be creating, how to update the catalogue or any of that – the client just saw that and figured “savings!” Pit for us, but we wished him luck.

After a month or so we received an email:

Client: Hey, can you guys help me? I had this website made, but I don’t know how the product catalogue works. Could you figure out how I’m supposed to use it?

Me: Can you show us your CMS?

Client: Okay.

When we logged in to CMS we saw that the “products catalogue” was a single page of textual elements with the title “Product Catalogue” made in a simple WYSIWYG editor.

Me: Well, it says “Product Catalogue” but this is more of a text page. Anything you need to change will need to be written by hand yourself – there’s no way to change one item for every product. And yeah,I some cases you’ll need some programming knowledge to make it look right.

Client: But it says “Product Catalogue!” Why won’t it work like a catalogue?

Me: Well, I could name it “Eshop” but that doesn’t mean it will have eCommerce functions.

Anyway, the client had to order “extra services” from that other company and wound up paying 1.5x what we quoted them.

I was asked to create a website for a large fundraising event for my internship. It seemed simple...

7 November 2018 - 1:40pm

I was asked to create a website for a large fundraising event for my internship. It seemed simple enough, until…

Client: I need you to add some things to the website.

Me: No problem, just send me the information and I can have it up in no time.

Two weeks later:

Client: Hi, sorry, I thought I said to have this up? Why isn’t the website done? We are running on a timely schedule.

Me: You didn’t send me the information, so I didn’t have anything to put up.

Client: Oh, ok.

Me: …So are you going to give me the information I need?

Client: I don’t have it right now. Just do what you can to the site.

One week later.

Client: I don’t see any changes to the website.

Me: That is because I don’t have the information to make the changes you asked for.

Client: You’re supposed to get it from the Event Planner.

I email the event planner. One week later:

Event Planner: I don’t know what you want. Ask the Supervisor.

So I reach back out to the client.

Me: The Event Planner says you have the information.

Client: What information?

Me: …The info for updating the website.

No response. A week later:

Client and Event Planner: Have you made the changes to the website?

This went on for three months. I got an email two weeks ago. They cancelled the event.

I work as an in-house designer for a finance firm, which, of course, involves a lot of PowerPoint...

6 November 2018 - 3:20pm

I work as an in-house designer for a finance firm, which, of course, involves a lot of PowerPoint presentations. One of my bosses thought I’d be interested to see a competitor’s latest presentation he’d gotten hold of, mostly to let me know the work I was doing was much better, bless him.

The presentation wasn’t anything special and didn’t really contain anything terribly cringe-worthy, except for the images (and there were at least two on every slide, in a 26 slide deck).

There was the usual selection of low-resolution ‘stretched-to-fit’ clipart, but the author had also pasted in cartoons, including one of Snoopy, complete with the CartoonStock watermark. But they’d made sure to attribute the cartoons so they couldn’t be accused of copyright infringement - in the footer of every slide, they’d dutifully typed “Source: Google Images.”

Client: We don’t offer this kind of flexible product in Russia, please kindly change from 10 days...

6 November 2018 - 1:40pm

Client: We don’t offer this kind of flexible product in Russia, please kindly change from 10 days per month to 10 days per week.

Me: …What?

I do graphic design and had this client who was looking to have a logo made for their site.After...

5 November 2018 - 3:20pm

I do graphic design and had this client who was looking to have a logo made for their site.

After sending them a few concept designs, he picked one so I proceeded to work on it. After a couple of days, I sent him a preview for initial critique and revisions. This process went on for the next days. 

Just when I thought we were getting closer to completion…

Client: I like that Icon but the fonts just don’t fit.

Me: Ok! I’ll sort that out now.

I proceeded to make revisions on the text bit and sent him the update.

Client: Yeah… I like it, but maybe the all-caps doesn’t fit well? Something doesn’t fit.

Me: Gotcha! I’ll fix it now. 

Again, only the text needed to be updated. Easy enough, I fixed it and sent the logo right away.

I got no reply for almost two weeks. The client and I share a community where we’re both active on and I see/interact with him there on a regular basis. I thought it was strange that he hasn’t replied to my message so I contacted him.

Me: Hello, it’s been almost two weeks. Are you still interested in the logo?

Client: Yea I’m very sorry. I’ve just been very busy lately since I finish college in a few weeks. I do like that logo yea the text but the graphical bit is weird I can’t exactly put my finger on it. Something doesn’t fit.

Me: (in my mind) (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

Basically, he’s been telling me all these time that he likes the logo design several times, just not the text. After the text bit of the logo has been sorted out, now he doesn’t like the logo/icon part anymore. 

I work as a freelance video editor. My former principal contacted me and asked me to edit a video...

5 November 2018 - 1:40pm

I work as a freelance video editor. My former principal contacted me and asked me to edit a video for her daughter’s wedding out of old pictures and videos.

Client: Here are the pictures I want you to use. Now about the videos, where can I plug in the VHS-Recorder?

Me: This is not possible. To record your VHS-tapes, I need extra hardware, which would be about 30€ extra.

Client: But my friend told me this works.

She ends up recording the tapes with her iPhone from the TV-screen – from standing up, so the videos are heavy-angled. I figure there is a way to zoom in and make it look like the original recording was awful too.

Me: So how do you exactly want the video to be? Any pictures I need to include? Any special wishes?

Client: No, I believe in you, be creative.

I create a heartwarming video of the bride that follows her birth through adolescence to meeting her fiancé. After some time, I deliver a low-res version of the video and ask for possible changes.

Client: It looks so good, I just need a few minor changes. I will email them to you.

That email… wasn’t so positive.

Client: Delete everything. Start with a zoom-in on the hospital where she was born. Then make text appear that says “at the same time…” and show pictures of her brother but keep the video at the beginning.

Note: I don’t know their family, so I didn’t know who her brother was in any of the photos.

Client: Then show all of the pictures of her as a baby with no one else on the picture. Then show the scan of the newspaper, the picture in the upper left but focus on the picture in the middle.

This mail continues with about 3000 words of how she wants the video done.

Me: What you sent me are not changes, it is a complete treatment. Also, I don’t know anybody you’re saying, so you need to tell me the filenames you want me to use. Also as I have to start all over again you need to pay about double the price we settled on in the first meeting.

Client: Why should I pay more if I tell you what to do? 

4000+ Vector logos and icons for only $14 — 98% off!

4 November 2018 - 2:20pm

This week’s deal is on 4000+ labels, logos, icons and more!

> Seriously, there are A LOT of neat toys in this one. 

You’re a great designer, but that doesn’t mean you have to personally create every last element in your next branding package. These 4000+ elements will help fill in the gaps and inspire you to try new things, all in fully-editable vector formats. 

Normally this bundle would sell for $800, but this week it’s only $14 or 98% off the typical asking price. That’s a huge discount on a great product.

> Check it out! 

Me: Here are the changes you asked for. Anything else?Client: Looks great! I’ll pass it on and get...

4 November 2018 - 12:40pm

Me: Here are the changes you asked for. Anything else?

Client: Looks great! I’ll pass it on and get back to you. 

I wait. And wait, and wait, and wait. I pop off a few emails gently nudging them.

Tired of waiting, I submit my bill.

And I wait. And wait, and wait, and wait. And pop off a few emails gently nudging them.

Me: Is there a hold up on paying me?

Client: Well, we’re not going to pay you because we really don’t think what you did contributed much to the project.

Me: But… I did what you asked me to do, and you’re using my work. It’s in the current build. 

Client: Yeah, but we don’t think what you did contributes much to the success of the app.

Me: The message that your marketing team came up with and that you asked me to use?

Client: Yeah.

A client contacted me on Friday night:Client: I’m sending you a brief for a design.Me: I have...

3 November 2018 - 2:20pm

A client contacted me on Friday night:

Client: I’m sending you a brief for a design.

Me: I have plans for the weekend. When do you need it?

Client: Next week. It doesn’t have to be fancy, you can do it fast.

Me: Well, like I said I have plans for the weekend and my schedule is actually pretty full next week. When do you actually need it?

Client: It’s not much, you can squeeze it in.

Oh, can I? I guess you would know better than me.

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