Clients from Hell

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Horror stories from freelancers
Updated: 39 min 49 sec ago

<p>Client: When I view the site on my

20 November 2018 - 10:02am

Client: When I view the site on my mobile, there is no menu. I just see three horizontal lines in the top right corner.

Me: (bangs head on desk)

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<p>“I can’t afford to pay you, but I

20 November 2018 - 8:00am

“I can’t afford to pay you, but I can sign you up to my email list if you like.”

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<p>A client reached out to me for

19 November 2018 - 10:00am

A client reached out to me for technical support, even though I designed their website a decade ago. It’s bad enough that they think I’m available for support for eternity, but they also don’t take good advice. 

 

Client Sorry I’ve taken so long to reply. I don’t actually send any big emails so I’m not sure why I am using up so many mega bites [sic] on email.

 

Me This could suggest you have a virus sending spam out from your email account. In the worst case this could lead to your personal data being compromised. I suggest you run a virus scan.

 

Client Thanks. I think I’ll leave it for now.

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<p>Client: This is a total disaster,

19 November 2018 - 8:00am

Client: This is a total disaster, you’ve printed all these stickers with the wrong date on them. It should be 30th October as per the email below. I am very annoyed that you can’t follow a simple instruction!

 

Me: I’m sorry for the error, I’ll fix that right away. Just to check though, your email says 31st October. We do have a sign off procedure and that is the date you signed off on.

 

Client: Well I didn’t read it when I signed it off. I’m a key account holder, I’m too important to check details like that!

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1000+ Vintage illustrations in vector format for only $29!

18 November 2018 - 10:00am

 

 

This week’s deal is on over a thousand super cool, fully scalable vintage illustrations for only $29!

 

> That’s 89% off for a limited time only.

 

Vintage illustrations are awesome. They’re also useful, giving you a stylish tool for your design toolkit. There’s so much cool stuff in this one, folks. The vintage maps alone are worth the price of admission, in my opinion; that’s 90 maps from 1900, except digitized and modernized to reflect the world as it is today in the style of yesteryear! NEW MAPS THAT LOOK LIKE OLD MAPS! Sorry, I just think that’s really, really cool. There’s also botanical illustrations, anatomical, sub-aquatic… just take a look. If you can’t imagine making a poster, t-shirt, or package design with at least a few of these I’m not sure what to tell you. This package is rife with possibilities.

 

Normally all the elements in this bundle would sell for $265, but for just the next week you can score all 1000+ for just $29, or 89% off

 

> Check out the deal here! 

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<p>I was working with a client who was

18 November 2018 - 8:00am

I was working with a client who was a non-native English speaker, putting together his books, websites, and product descriptions. We sometimes butted heads, and frequently had problems understanding each other.

 

He had just come back from another country and was trying to describe a photo he had taken. This conversation was a roller-coaster from beginning to end.

 

Each entry was its own email.

 

Client: Their hands were all up.

 

Me: They were waving? 

 

Client: Sorry. It’s not waving. Just like Hitler way.

 

!!!

 

Client: They raised their hands up.

 

Me: Like… a Nazi salute?

 

Client: Almost.

 

Client: Not exactly.

 

Client: Up until their eyes.

 

Client: You know like military.

 

Me: So, a regular salute?

 

Client: Thanks.

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<p>Me: Is it 32 or 64 bits? &#160;

17 November 2018 - 10:00am

Me: Is it 32 or 64 bits?

 

Client:  Yes.

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<p>I’ve worked directly with the

17 November 2018 - 8:00am

I’ve worked directly with the Managing Director of an industrial company for years. He’s always been pretty good to work with, but constantly changes his mind. I’ve gotten used to this.

 

One day, I got an email from some kind of agency who were apparently doing other work for this client, asking me to supply samples of my work for consideration when they “move forward with the project.” The only thing is I’d already been working on that project for six months. Apparently, the client had another change of heart and hired an in-between without telling me. 

 

Me: If you’re looking for the work I’ve already completed on the project, that’s fine with me, but I do have an outstanding invoice at the moment. Honestly, as far as I’m concerned, I already have the job. 

 

This seemed to confuse the agency person. She hemmed and hawed, clearly going back to the Managing Director who hired them for clarification.

 

Agency: Okay, fine. Can you confirm a firm quote for this upcoming shoot?

 

The shoot was two hours away and included a HUGE list of content sections for a video running only two minutes.

 

Me: Well, I can give you a ballpark, but I’m really not sure exactly what you need here so I’m leery of giving you a firm quote until I have a more clear idea of the job.

 

Client: Well, it’s urgent. Please let me know ASAP.

 

I thought about it for a day and then came up with a number.

 

Me: Okay, I can commit to $[X] for the shoot.

 

Client: Thanks for getting in touch! I’m out of the office until [after the shoot is scheduled] but will get in touch with you as soon as I’m back.

 

I think I’m walking away from this one.

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<p>&#8220;Can I get these double-sided

16 November 2018 - 10:00am

“Can I get these double-sided?”

— A client asking for fridge magnets.

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User Submitted Post

16 November 2018 - 8:00am

“How do you delete extra pages from Microsoft Word?”

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User Submitted Post

15 November 2018 - 10:00am

I presented a client a mock-up of their logo, Photoshopping it onto a sign to show what it would look like in the real world.  

Client: Why did you make this without our approval? We’re not paying for it. 

Me: What? You don’t like it? 

Client: I do. But why did you make the sign without telling us? Where is this? 

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My eyes hurt!

15 November 2018 - 8:00am

I once designed a website for a client who made a few specific requests: to only use freestockphotos.com, and to use the colors in her (very 90s) logo. Those colors were bright yellow, dark blue, and red. 

I somehow managed to finish the job, but to this day I cringe at the thought. It still exists, hosted on an outdated Wordpress instance and presumably hacked ten times over from lack of updates. 

 

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<p>I’m a photographer and aspiring

14 November 2018 - 3:18pm

I’m a photographer and aspiring photo archivist. I was asked to digitize photos that were on display at a funeral/viewing. There were 65 photos.

Me: Sure, I could have this done pretty soon, no problem!

Client: Great! I didn’t have tape and didn’t want to use glue, so (with pride in their voice) guess what I used?

Me: (with pronounced fear in my voice) Uh… what?

Client: Toothpaste!

What was going to be an hour and a half project turned into two days of scraping and cleaning photos.

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<p>My department manager was looking

14 November 2018 - 3:16pm

My department manager was looking for an intern.

Boss: It doesn’t have to be a graphic designer, just someone that can use Adobe Illustrator efficiently and has an eye for detail and composition.

Me: So… a designer?

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<p>I was designing a website for a

13 November 2018 - 2:09pm

I was designing a website for a client. Over time, the client requested lots of little changes to the content. One weird result of this, though, is that any photos that included women were slowly removed.

Client: Could you remove that person in this photo?

Me: Okay, but that means there are now no more women on the website?

Client: That’s fine, we’re not marketing just for women. We’re not sexist!

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<p>Me: I’m back from my work trip. Do

13 November 2018 - 2:07pm

Me: I’m back from my work trip. Do you still need those modifications to your logo files? 

Client: Hey! I was actually able to talk with my IT guy and he taught me how to use gimp to do all of that. But I will definitely let you know if I need anything else done.

Me: (WRITHING IN SYMPATHETIC PAIN FOR USING GIMP)

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<p>I had made a packing design that was

13 November 2018 - 2:06pm

I had made a packing design that was approved but not yet fully paid for.

Client: We are really in a hurry, so please send fonts and colors you’ve used ASAP. And what software do you use to design things?  This is urgent!

Me: What do you mean? Do you need print files? Sure, but I need to be paid before I send you the finished files.

Client: Why do we have to pay you? This was our idea of design! I even sent you mock-up in Photoshop!

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<p>While we did send you the text file

13 November 2018 - 2:03pm

While we did send you the text file two days late last Thursday, the rest of the schedule cannot be delayed by two days. Oh, by the way, here is a new version of the text file you will have to use instead.

—  Client, on Monday 

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Have fun, learn design — The Designer’s Deck for 20% off!

11 November 2018 - 3:20pm

This week’s deal is on a deck of cards that will make you a better designer! 

> The Design Deck: the fun way to learn design!

Flashcards are a proven way to learn new concepts fast, and poker is a proven way to have fun and MAYBE win some money. That’s win/win/win(?)! This high-quality deck of playing cards features 56 cards, each with a succinct summary of a different design concept, philosophy, or idea so that you can up your game while playing a game. 

For a limited time, you can save 20% on this beautiful collectable that will make the perfect gift for the designer/s in your life — .or for yourself! Order now in time for the holidays! 

> Check out the deal here.

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Have fun, learn design — The Designer’s Deck for 20% off!

11 November 2018 - 3:20pm

This week’s deal is on a deck of cards that will make you a better designer! 

> The Design Deck: the fun way to learn design!

Flashcards are a proven way to learn new concepts fast, and poker is a proven way to have fun and MAYBE win some money. That’s win/win/win(?)! This high-quality deck of playing cards features 56 cards, each with a succinct summary of a different design concept, philosophy, or idea so that you can up your game while playing a game. 

For a limited time, you can save 20% on this beautiful collectable that will make the perfect gift for the designer/s in your life — .or for yourself! Order now in time for the holidays! 

> Check out the deal here.

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