Clients from Hell

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Horror stories from freelancers
Updated: 3 hours 1 min ago

<p>&#8220;Can I get these double-sided

10 hours 57 min ago

“Can I get these double-sided?”

— A client asking for fridge magnets.

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User Submitted Post

12 hours 57 min ago

“How do you delete extra pages from Microsoft Word?”

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User Submitted Post

15 November 2018 - 10:00am

I presented a client a mock-up of their logo, Photoshopping it onto a sign to show what it would look like in the real world.  

Client: Why did you make this without our approval? We’re not paying for it. 

Me: What? You don’t like it? 

Client: I do. But why did you make the sign without telling us? Where is this? 

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My eyes hurt!

15 November 2018 - 8:00am

I once designed a website for a client who made a few specific requests: to only use freestockphotos.com, and to use the colors in her (very 90s) logo. Those colors were bright yellow, dark blue, and red. 

I somehow managed to finish the job, but to this day I cringe at the thought. It still exists, hosted on an outdated Wordpress instance and presumably hacked ten times over from lack of updates. 

 

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<p>I’m a photographer and aspiring

14 November 2018 - 3:18pm

I’m a photographer and aspiring photo archivist. I was asked to digitize photos that were on display at a funeral/viewing. There were 65 photos.

Me: Sure, I could have this done pretty soon, no problem!

Client: Great! I didn’t have tape and didn’t want to use glue, so (with pride in their voice) guess what I used?

Me: (with pronounced fear in my voice) Uh… what?

Client: Toothpaste!

What was going to be an hour and a half project turned into two days of scraping and cleaning photos.

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<p>My department manager was looking

14 November 2018 - 3:16pm

My department manager was looking for an intern.

Boss: It doesn’t have to be a graphic designer, just someone that can use Adobe Illustrator efficiently and has an eye for detail and composition.

Me: So… a designer?

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<p>I was designing a website for a

13 November 2018 - 2:09pm

I was designing a website for a client. Over time, the client requested lots of little changes to the content. One weird result of this, though, is that any photos that included women were slowly removed.

Client: Could you remove that person in this photo?

Me: Okay, but that means there are now no more women on the website?

Client: That’s fine, we’re not marketing just for women. We’re not sexist!

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<p>Me: I’m back from my work trip. Do

13 November 2018 - 2:07pm

Me: I’m back from my work trip. Do you still need those modifications to your logo files? 

Client: Hey! I was actually able to talk with my IT guy and he taught me how to use gimp to do all of that. But I will definitely let you know if I need anything else done.

Me: (WRITHING IN SYMPATHETIC PAIN FOR USING GIMP)

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<p>I had made a packing design that was

13 November 2018 - 2:06pm

I had made a packing design that was approved but not yet fully paid for.

Client: We are really in a hurry, so please send fonts and colors you’ve used ASAP. And what software do you use to design things?  This is urgent!

Me: What do you mean? Do you need print files? Sure, but I need to be paid before I send you the finished files.

Client: Why do we have to pay you? This was our idea of design! I even sent you mock-up in Photoshop!

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<p>While we did send you the text file

13 November 2018 - 2:03pm

While we did send you the text file two days late last Thursday, the rest of the schedule cannot be delayed by two days. Oh, by the way, here is a new version of the text file you will have to use instead.

—  Client, on Monday 

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Have fun, learn design — The Designer’s Deck for 20% off!

11 November 2018 - 3:20pm

This week’s deal is on a deck of cards that will make you a better designer! 

> The Design Deck: the fun way to learn design!

Flashcards are a proven way to learn new concepts fast, and poker is a proven way to have fun and MAYBE win some money. That’s win/win/win(?)! This high-quality deck of playing cards features 56 cards, each with a succinct summary of a different design concept, philosophy, or idea so that you can up your game while playing a game. 

For a limited time, you can save 20% on this beautiful collectable that will make the perfect gift for the designer/s in your life — .or for yourself! Order now in time for the holidays! 

> Check out the deal here.

The post Have fun, learn design — The Designer’s Deck for 20% off! appeared first on Clients From Hell .

Have fun, learn design — The Designer’s Deck for 20% off!

11 November 2018 - 3:20pm

This week’s deal is on a deck of cards that will make you a better designer! 

> The Design Deck: the fun way to learn design!

Flashcards are a proven way to learn new concepts fast, and poker is a proven way to have fun and MAYBE win some money. That’s win/win/win(?)! This high-quality deck of playing cards features 56 cards, each with a succinct summary of a different design concept, philosophy, or idea so that you can up your game while playing a game. 

For a limited time, you can save 20% on this beautiful collectable that will make the perfect gift for the designer/s in your life — .or for yourself! Order now in time for the holidays! 

> Check out the deal here.

<p>Client: Please italicize the title

11 November 2018 - 1:40pm

Client: Please italicize the title and not the
period.

Me: (How the hell do you italicize a period?)

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Client: Please italicize the title and not the period.Me: (How the hell do you italicize a period?)

11 November 2018 - 1:40pm

Client: Please italicize the title and not the period.

Me: (How the hell do you italicize a period?)

<p>Client: I need to change my internet

10 November 2018 - 3:20pm

Client: I need to
change my internet ID.

Me: I’m sorry,
your what?

Client: Under my
name on the paperwork there is an Internet ID.

Me: Are you
talking about your e-mail address?

Client: Yes, that!

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Client: I need to change my internet ID.Me: I’m sorry, your what?Client: Under my name on the...

10 November 2018 - 3:20pm

Client: I need to change my internet ID.

Me: I’m sorry, your what?

Client: Under my name on the paperwork there is an Internet ID.

Me: Are you talking about your e-mail address?

Client: Yes, that!

<p>A client I’ve worked with in the

10 November 2018 - 1:40pm

A client I’ve worked with in the past came to me with the request to add a video to the top of the homepage of their e-commerce website, along with some other tweaks. I thought it’d be a little bit tacky to have the large video bombarding new users, but I went ahead and quoted the project for $X.

Client: Hm, no, I was thinking $Y [one-third of $X], and I’ll also need these other things done as a part of this project.

Me: Alright, I can do all that, but it will be $X to take care of it.

Client: If we are agreed on $Y, send over the invoice.

Me: Sorry, no. If you’re adding other features, I’m firm on $X to take care of this project.

Client: How about $Z? [halfway between $X and $Y]

At this point, I was ready to just walk away, but I wanted to maintain the relationship as it had been good up until this point so I decided on a compromise.

Me: Sure. I can do it for $Z. It’s going to be completed on a slightly longer timeline, though. I have some other projects in my queue at the moment, and I will get to yours when I am able. Send me over the video, and I’ll get the project in my queue.

Then, the kicker.

Client: Here’s the video. Yes, it’s very long and not flashy, but that’s the point of this bad boy. We are going to make it autoplay with no controls available to the user. Make them sit through a 27-minute video. We’ll see how that does for a few weeks.

The post appeared first on Clients From Hell .

A client I’ve worked with in the past came to me with the request to add a video to the top of the...

10 November 2018 - 1:40pm

A client I’ve worked with in the past came to me with the request to add a video to the top of the homepage of their e-commerce website, along with some other tweaks. I thought it’d be a little bit tacky to have the large video bombarding new users, but I went ahead and quoted the project for $X.

Client: Hm, no, I was thinking $Y [one-third of $X], and I’ll also need these other things done as a part of this project.

Me: Alright, I can do all that, but it will be $X to take care of it.

Client: If we are agreed on $Y, send over the invoice.

Me: Sorry, no. If you’re adding other features, I’m firm on $X to take care of this project.

Client: How about $Z? [halfway between $X and $Y]

At this point, I was ready to just walk away, but I wanted to maintain the relationship as it had been good up until this point so I decided on a compromise.

Me: Sure. I can do it for $Z. It’s going to be completed on a slightly longer timeline, though. I have some other projects in my queue at the moment, and I will get to yours when I am able. Send me over the video, and I’ll get the project in my queue.

Then, the kicker.

Client: Here’s the video. Yes, it’s very long and not flashy, but that’s the point of this bad boy. We are going to make it autoplay with no controls available to the user. Make them sit through a 27-minute video. We’ll see how that does for a few weeks.

<p>Client: I need you to design my

9 November 2018 - 3:20pm

Client: I need you to design my business card,
but I don’t have much money because I’m a starting out as an accountant. I can
only pay $10.

Me: There isn’t much I can do for the sum. Nothing, actually.

Client:
 Ok, just write my name and number on a business card size.

Days later:

Me: Here you go.

Client: (shouting) What’s this? It’s too bland and
not designed at all!

Me: It’s what you asked for.

Client: I know. But I was expecting something
great – like, say, the corporate identity of the Bank of America, for example!

Me: Bank of America hires the services of a top
ad agency, and they pay top dollar.

Client: I know, but I want a top branding
identity and pay only $10!

The post appeared first on Clients From Hell .

Client: I need you to design my business card, but I don’t have much money because I’m a starting...

9 November 2018 - 3:20pm

Client: I need you to design my business card, but I don’t have much money because I’m a starting out as an accountant. I can only pay $10.

Me: There isn’t much I can do for the sum. Nothing, actually.

Client:
 Ok, just write my name and number on a business card size.

Days later:

Me: Here you go.

Client: (shouting) What’s this? It’s too bland and not designed at all!

Me: It’s what you asked for.

Client: I know. But I was expecting something great – like, say, the corporate identity of the Bank of America, for example!

Me: Bank of America hires the services of a top ad agency, and they pay top dollar.

Client: I know, but I want a top branding identity and pay only $10!

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